THE JESUS TREE

The year 2023 started out like any new year with hopes and expectations of a year full of blessings and I could not wait to see what the Lord had in store for me. However, little did I know that 2023 would be one of the worst years on this journey so far. Right from the start in January, it started off with a walking boot for pain in my right foot “for a supposed fracture” which set off a chain of events including a sprained left ankle, sprained ribs, pinched nerve in back, pinched nerve in neck, ongoing pain and I was at the doctors and ER all year. I could not believe this was happening to me and all my hopes and expectations for a blessed New Year quickly turned to doubt, discouragement, confusion, joylessness, and frustration with life and God. During this time, I couldn’t understand why God would allow this happen to me because I have always been mostly healthy and pain free. Then I started questioning whether he cared, if he loved me and if he was ever going to deliver me from this. Anyone else do this when things get hard, and trials never seem to end? Also, I was asking Him how am I supposed to have joy with all of this going on? Now I know that Scripture says count it all joy when we fall into various trials of all kinds, however, joy is the last thing on my mind when all I want is the pain and the trial to end so I really could have joy! However, the trial did not end, and it just got worse. This was because amid all the pain, I received news that the love of my life passed away suddenly leaving me feeling sad and with regrets because even though we were divorced he was still a part of our lives. So, as Christmastime was approaching, I was not feeling joyful, and I did not want to celebrate Christmas at all! I even told God there is nothing to celebrate and I am not putting up a tree or decorating the house. But you know when you tell God what you are not going to do, He laughs, and you end up doing it anyway. So reluctantly I decided to put up the tree, decorate it, and do my best to enjoy the holiday. To be honest, decorating our tree has always brought me so much joy and the tree is just beautiful. Not to brag but I always get compliments on its beauty. However, for me it is not the beauty of the tree that draws me but the special meaning behind the tree because our tree is a Jesus tree. What is a Jesus tree you might ask? Well, I always use red and gold garland, which is nothing special in and of itself, but for me the red represents the blood of Jesus shed for me on His tree, the Cross at Calvary and the gold symbolizes the glory of God that He displayed on that tree! Not only that 2 years ago, I also started replacing our traditional Christmas ornaments with Jesus themed ornaments such as crosses, scriptures, and the spiritual gifts that Jesus gives us like Joy, Peace, Faith, and Hope. This year I even found a little church I added to the mix.  Of course, I still have traditional ornaments like balls and other favorites like pictures of my beloved cats on the tree, but the glory of the tree is always the Jesus themed decorations. Since then, every Christmas this tree has brought so much light, joy, hope and peace to our home, which especially this past Christmas we so desperately needed. However, as you know we have an enemy prowling around seeking whom he can devour and he came to steal, kill, and destroy our Christmas and rob us of our peace, joy, and hope. Not only that I found out that he absolutely hates my Jesus tree and wanted to destroy it too! You may be wondering how do I know this? Well, prior to the holidays I had started feeling better with less pain, so I was having more joy but then suddenly the pain in my foot and back came back right before Christmas. As a result, I got upset and angry and I let my emotions get the best of me. I started complaining and grumbling and this opened a door for Satan to attack and he did because he started filling my mind with lies and negativity about God, Christmas, and the tree. I hate to admit this, but I even started thinking I hate this tree and I just want to get rid of the tree things I have never thought about before or imagined I would think about. Looking back, I should have realized it was an attack and resisted it but instead I started letting what was in my heart come out of my mouth and if  we don’t change our thoughts just like the Word say about the abundance of our hearts our mouth speaks and what in my heart was not good. I started voicing my complaints about pain and the tree to my son. This was a mistake because even though my son has the kindest gentlest soul, he had had his own share of disappointments this past year and was not feeling cheerful either. I guess when he heard me complaining about the tree, he got angry. He must have been tired of hearing me complain because what happened next shocked me. He slammed the tree down on the floor which resulted in my hope cross and the little church getting broken. I was so angry at him even though I knew if it had not been for me suggesting we get rid of the tree he would never have done that. However, we ended up getting in a terrible argument that quickly escalated and we both hurled hateful words at each other. Thank goodness at the time I had to return to work because I was at home for lunch. During the time away from home, the Lord spoke to me and said if you want peace to return to the home you must forgive him and let it go. He reminded me that our fight is not against each other but against our enemy who likes to cause division and strife and tear families apart. Therefore, I swallowed my pride, forgave him and we worked together to try to restore the tree the best we could. Unfortunately, we lost the hope cross, but I taped the church up and hung it back on the tree. After we finished, it looked better, however, I just could not shake the thought that the tree just did not look the same. To me it had lost its former glory and in my perfectionistic mind it was ruined. As I sat there looking at it, God reminded me that this tree was like my life even though it did not look the way I wanted it and it had some broken pieces, it did not mean it was ruined and that it could be restored and become even better than before. So, after thinking about it for a while I decided I would find new Jesus themed ornaments to replace what I had lost, and I did find even more beautiful ornaments than I had before. I even got some with the Word of God on them and hung them as well. When I finished, I stood back looking at the tree and I thought to myself my tree might not look exactly like it did before, but it looked even more like a Jesus tree now giving God even greater glory than it did before. Now the tree not only represents Jesus but symbolizes how God can restore our life just like He did the tree when we allow Him to redeem the broken pieces and renew our mind with the Word of God so we can look even more like Jesus. Also the Word promises that when we submit our hurts, pains and disappointments to Him that Satan uses to destroy our life that He can turn around for good and His glory! Not only that another thing I realized was no matter how life looks at Christmas or anytime, when we spend time with Him in His presence, He will fill us with His joy because in His presence is fullness of joy and His joy is not dependent on our circumstances but who He is. Therefore, when we remain in Him, he promises that our joy will be full, and we can count it all joy when we fall into the trials of life knowing that He will empower us to overcome and turn it all for our good and His glory! So, I have to say that in the end despite the pain and the enemy doing his best to ruin our Christmas, our home was filled with peace and renewed sense of joy and hope that has lasted even until now. Now I cannot wait until next year to put up our tree and continue to replace the old ornaments with the new Jesus themed ornaments making it all new just like Jesus makes all things new in our life. Looking back now, when I first started adding the Jesus ornaments to our tree I could have never imagined the beautiful testimony He was writing that would bring Him glory remind me that no matter what is going on in my life at Christmas or anytime that I can count it all joy and celebrate the only thing that matters which is Jesus! But God knew and he knew that this day would come that I would need His hope, peace, joy that would come from this tree the Jesus Tree!