Does anyone else struggle with fear? What is fear really? I love the acronym Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is not real and 95% of the time the things we fear never come to pass but it robs us of our peace and joy and can stop us from marching forward with God. So why do we fear? The Bible clearly tells us fear not over 500 times but so many of us still struggle with it. Where does fear comes from? Satan is the author of fear and it’s one of his favorite weapons in his arsenal against us and it can stop us in our tracks from doing what God has called us to do and hinder our walk. As such, we need to determine the root of our fears and identify the lies were are believing to overcome it and be victorious. 2 Corinthians tells us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to God’s Word. For me, fear is something I have struggled with as far back as I can remember and always felt uneasy, anxious and wrought up most of the time. I was never able to enjoy inner peace and I was always negative and expected the worst. One memory that stands out is around age 5, I began getting these random thoughts in my head about the devil even though I didn’t know who or what that was and I would put my hands over my ears to drown it out. Also, I grew up with an alcoholic father who was emotionally and verbally abusive and an overprotective and overbearing mother and there was a lot of tension and anxiety in the home. I had all kinds of fears like not being good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, what people thought about me, and being alone. As time went by my fears grew to include fear of illness, fear of failure and since my father told me I won’t let anyone love me, I feared not being loved. Even though in reality none of this was true, I lived riddled with anxiety and fear was my constant companion. The only thing that changed is the nature of the fears depending on the season of life or the situation I was in. As a result, I turned to people pleasing, addictions and a myriad of destructive behaviors to cope with the fear but nothing seemed to eradicate it from my life. However, that all changed when I completely surrendered my life to Christ in 2008 after a miraculous deliverance from addiction. Through Jesus I had found a new confidence, love for myself, gained an identity and found purpose. As I set out on this journey, I had total faith, trust and confidence in God but those old fears began surfacing and some new ones developed especially since I had found myself a target of the enemy now that I was a sold-out follower of Christ and not a prisoner of him and the world anymore. Suddenly I found myself facing fear in a major way and I found myself in the middle of a war that I didn’t even know existed prior to this time. Even thought I had grown up in church, I was ignorant of spiritual warfare, Satan’s tactics, and opposition in the life of a Christian. Therefore, I had to quickly learn to rely on the Holy Spirit and God’s word to defeat fear in my life. However, it’s not that easy because Satan usually waits until you are overwhelmed, discouraged, weary, tired, stressed, or sick to attack and he knows what we fear. Although there are many areas of fear that God has helped me overcome, there is one area that I had a major breakthrough in the area of health just 3 months ago. I had been going through an extremely difficult time due to some poor decisions on my part that had left me joyless, weary and disillusioned and suddenly I began having stomach pains of unknown origin with no answers or resolution after repeated trips to the ER Furthermore, I have been mostly healthy with no medical problems or pains so this incited panic and fear. One Friday night, at my Celebrate Recovery meeting, someone was sharing how God had helped him overcome some fears and how he had awoken one morning with God singing over him the song Fear is a Liar. At the time, I didn’t realize that God was preparing me for what would happen next. You know one of those moments where God has us right where he wants us to speak to us and it will be exactly what we are going through. Well, the next morning, I woke up with that same song playing in my head with a peace and serenity about me no anxiety and I went about my day signing that song out loud. However, around 12:00, I started feeling anxious again but this time I knew it was more than anxiety that something was wrong but I still kept telling myself it’s just anxiety”. As the day wore on, I began to get nauseous and my heart was starting to race and I all I could do was sit on the couch because if I stood up, I felt like I was going to pass out. At the same time, I was having severe pain in my right side under the rib cage and I started to get really worried and called my sponsor. After praying with her, reading the word & seeking God, I knew God was telling me to call 911 because I knew that my son would be unable to handle my condition to drive me to the hospital. So, I calmly made the decision to call 911 and when the paramedics came and saw that my blood pressure and heart rate were off the charts, they quickly decided to take me to ER and I was admitted for observation. By now fear was welling up in me because they were running tests and still didn’t know what was wrong. I am actually thankful that my vital signs were still off the chart because that’s the only reason they kept me to do more tests. The next day after running more tests, they found that my gallbladder was failing at 7% and scheduled me for surgery. They also scheduled me for an EGD to check my stomach before undergoing surgery. Now my fear was at an all-time high two procedures that I had undergo anesthesia. I had only had my tonsils out and a C section and no medical issues so it was scary for me. I remember clearly God saying to me not to be afraid that he was the first one to use anesthesia when he put Adam to sleep and performed the first surgery. This brought a new sense of peace to me and I knew he was in control but the fear still lingered. However, throughout that 5 day hospital stay, God showed up in a mighty way, showed his faithfulness and literally like it says Zephaniah 3:17 that He will quiet you with his love & rejoice over you with singing He means it because both times I had to be put under anesthesia Fear is a liar was playing in my head when I woke up & he continued to place a worship song in my mind everytime I had to face a new fear like IV’s, taking medications, procedures, etc. Throughout the hospital stay, I was completely overwhelmed with his love, his faithfulness & his provision and comfort. I have no family here but he sent people to visit me, brought me necessities to the hospital and used this experience to draw me closer to Him, increase my faith and trust, and helped me overcome my fears. So, if like me you struggle with fear and anxiety, just cry out to God, lay it at His feet and God will show up calm your fears, show his faithfulness & quiet you with His love and rejoice over you with singing. Fear is a Liar!
When fear knocks on the door, let faith open it! Fear is expecting Satan to move. Faith is expecting God to move! 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
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